Ole in? I am and you should be too!

A week ago, that weird LUHG twitter lot constantly craved attention and were begging for Ole Gunnar Solskjaer to be sacked. Well, have you noticed how quiet they are at the minute because I have…

A 2-1 win against a now Jose Mourinho Spurs side and a 2-1 win against the blue side of Manchester. What a week its been. Hows that song go? Oh what a feeling, what a night…

The foundations of a good team are there. Maguire seems to be settling in perfectly and has taken that captains armband of Ashley Young. Something I personally have been frigging dying for. Shocking captain. AWB is just mental, isn’t he? I genuinely think its impossible to get past him and he made Sterling look so weak he was like the pound when Brexit was announced.

The third signing Dan James has exceeded what we expected of him in his early days at United. We expected him to be a bit part player and ease into the team slowly. Instead, well we can all agree that he is obviously better than Ryan Giggs so that’s that in it? Nah the player has been excellent and looks like he could be a real talent for us if he develops the way he has been doing.

I’m Ole in. I’ll tell you why.

Well one reason why I’m Ole in is because it’s funny winding up them knobheads on twitter. You know that one tit who says hope this helps after every tweet. He needs poking in the eyes that clown. What I’m trying to say is this stereotypical twitter united fan needs to stop being so negative for no reason. I’m a miserable prick but fuck me its not all bad with Ole. They’re either troll accounts or have a face only a mother could love. Either way they need to lighten the feck up.

Another reason why I am Ole in is his transfers. The three players brought in over the summer have been excellent as mentioned earlier in the blog. You know when I made that Brexit joke? (don’t vote Tory) In all seriousness, he wants players who actually want to play for United, not just those who want to come for the money. I like that in OGS. He is doing his homework and making sure only the right players come to the club. Something, Mr Woodward hasn’t done.

The guy wants what is best for Manchester United. Simple as that. He isn’t going to try and save face like Mourinho did. He will always put the club first and that is what we need as manager. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is a Manchester United legend and possibly one of my favourite players of all time. I absolutely love Solskjaer and I am desperate for him to succeed at United. It would make me as happy as never hearing Katie Hopkins voice or seeing her face again. Weird prick she is.

This is the main reason why I am Ole in. The Glazers and Woodward did not back him enough this summer. Nowhere near enough. Yet we can see signs of a team that we are all starting to like again. We are seeing signs of a young attacking side hungry to win. Yes it will be inconsistent, look at how thin the squad is, that was bound to happen. Though still, we are in fifth, 5 points of top 4. Back Ole properly and he will sign the right players and bend over backwards to see this club succeed again.

The board got him 3 players when we needed 5 or 6 in the door. Imagine if we signed Bruno Fernandes a goal scoring midfielder who can create chances as well. Imagine if Pogba didn’t get injured. Imagine if Pereira played like he was actually Brazillian and not Scottish. Imagine what he could do with a better squad.

Yes, I am not as blind as VAR, Ole does make mistakes. His in-game management can be non-existent sometimes and his substitutions are baffling at times. But, he deserves a chance. He deserves time. The signs are there that he has us on the right track. Don’t sack him so that he gets to build on the foundations he has started.

Its going to be a long season and we need to realise there will be bumps in the road but if we back Ole and bring in the right players so that we can improve the first team and enhance squad depth then I am telling you, Manchester United will be back!

Be patient with Ole. It is pointless sacking managers constantly. The problem lies above Ole and we need to focus our anger at the board. Not the manager.

On a quick sidenote I also want to say sorry to Jesse Lingard. On my last blog post I said he should be sold but he has been brilliant in this past week of football. If he can show that kind of form consistently then he is a fine player for Manchester United. Also, sorry for calling you Dappy. You’re a better rapper than he ever was.. just don’t wear any stupid hats.

It’s been a great week for us. It’s nearly Christmas and the Baileys will be flowing. Particularly down my neck so let’s hope I’m drinking it in celebrations that United haven’t ruined my Christmas. As long as Woodward doesn’t start spouting shite again or I don’t hear Steven Gerrard’s squeaky twat bag accent then I’ll be fine.

In the UK, it’s election week. Make sure you go out and vote. This is the most important vote we are facing. VOTE.

But just remember, as always, it might not be the best at Manchester United right now, it could be worse. You could be from Liverpool.

Follow me on Twitter: @_calstone

My First XI and who should be nowhere near it..

Marcus Rashford x Anthony Martial: On form

It’s coming up to what feels like the 400th international break of the season and we’re only in November. I’m bored in a hotel room away with work so I’m writing this so that I don’t have to eventually force myself to watch Come Dine with me and Hollyoaks and accidentally think it’s good, because it,s not. It’s fucking shit. Anyway, Onto the important stuff, the football..

United and the lads seem to be finding their form. An Ice-cool Frenchman in Martial has come back and seems to be looking like the guy we all knew he could be. His hold up play against Brighton made me realise it is possible for a Man United number 9 to not play football like he’s wearing steel toe cap boots. The guy was class.

Watching that game i genuinely couldn’t fault any of the team. They all worked their socks off and the signs are there to see that if Ole if given time then United will be back again. As long as it isn’t thirty years like the rats down the M62.

Anyway, my first XI is based on the fact that well you know they are good at football, unlike some of the other reprobates in our squad. Bare in mind that its a team where all players are fit. So nobody is injured, focusing on rapping, shit clothes or eating bird shit in this one. Also being based on the 4-2-3-1 Ole likes to play.

Goalkeeper: David De Gea

David De Gea being in goal for us isn’t the biggest shock is it really. I love Sergio Romero, I mean the guy has 30 clean sheets in 49 games for us, but big Dave is arguably our greatest ever goalkeeper so unless De Gea loses his arms in a freak accident, he’s the number 1 for me.

Right back: Aaron Wan-Bissaka

I don’t think I’ve seen him make a bad tackle yet. I’m sure he might have one day but it doesn’t spring to mind. You can tell how important he is to the team because other teams recently have been exploiting the left side. Ashley Young’s side. He gives it his all right and that’s all we can ask for but the guy is about as useful as limp dick in a porn film.

Centre-back: Harry Maguire

Another no brainer for me. I think Harry has been good, not excellent, but good. He’s certainly improved our defence in my opinion and as long as we don’t have the guy that enjoys shitting his pants and eating dirt in defence then I am certainly happy. Yeah that one was Phil Jones.

Centre-back: Victor Lindelof

This one was a bit tougher. Axel might end up taking his position but right now I think giving the swede a bit longer in the side to prove his worth is the right decision. Lindelof was arguably player of the season last season so he’s earnt his right to have a sticky patch and fight through it. Whether he does or not though is another question, and a lot will think it will be Axel’s position not before long.

Left Back: Luke Shaw

This is his last chance I think. when he returns to fitness he should have a run to show he can seize an opportunity of being our left back for the foreseeable future because he has a cracking young player in Brandon Williams at his heels. If he can’t up his game then he might be finished at the reds.

Centre Midfielder: Scott McTominay

I swear to christ we all owe McTominay an apology. We all need to buy him a kebab and a pint of Scotch for under estimating him. The guy is the first name on the teamsheet and rightly so. We have all basically shat ourselves when he went down at the end of the Brighton game. We need more in his position to improve squad depth but Scott, I take my friggin hypothetical hat off to you lad!

Centre Midfield: Fred

HA! Imagine this a few weeks ago. Fred has really turned a corner it seems the past few games and him and Scott are really shwoing that they can play together. A solid midfield partnership seems to be forming. carry his form on and he might finally justify that mental price tag.

Attacking Midfielder: Paul Pogba

Anyone that says we aren’t missing him as probably a complete tit. United have struggled to create chances and unfortunately Pereira hasn’t quite made the position his own has he? When Pogba was playing from deep he was still creating chances with ease. If it wasn’t for Rashford lacking that much confidence at the time that it made his finishing worse than a baby crying in a restaurant. Pogba at number 10 is what we need. Or James Maddison… Or Bruno Fernandes…

Right Wing: Daniel James:

Who’d have thought a 15 million quid signing from a place that finds sheep more valuable than literally anything else would be this bloody good. He’s faster than a person from Liverpool mentioning The Beatles. Or a vegan telling you they’re a vegan. He’s been a breathe of fresh air and can have a long career at the reds. Fair play to him. When I was 21 I was writing my dissertation and crying into a Wetherspoons burger.

Left Wing: Marcus Rashford

He had his chance to show he was a number 9 for us but I don’t think he quite got there. Rashford seems to be so deadly from the left and when he did that ZigZag skill against Brighton, I remembered how good he can be. If only he scored that open goal and stopped me looking a right knobhead when I cheered.

Striker: Anthony Martial

This guy stays fit then he will lead our front line for years to come. He’s as good at football as that dreamboat Michael Buble is at singing christmas songs. He’s skillful, can hold the ball up, scores wondergoals and sets them up as well. The frenchman has it all, he just needs to unlock his potential and he’ll be world class. Not bad for a waste of money, ey?

So those are the players I would have in the starting eleven. I’m going to focus now on those who shouldn’t be near it, certainly on certain form and arguably, shouldn’t even be at Mancester United anymore.

Players that need to go:

Jesse Lingard is one of them. I just don’t think he has what it takes and this years form has shown that. No premier league goals or assists this year and it looks like his mojo. Manchester United’s version of Dappy from N-dubz might have to leave if he cant find any sort of form.

Nemanja Matic is another. It seems he’s off in January and I don’t think anybody will be too upset about that. He’s like the internet explorer browser; slow, useless and there’s better options out there.

Honourable mentions (who I couldn’t be arsed writing about) go to Phil Jones and Juan Ashley Young. I also don’t want to see Alexis Sanchez back at the club. He was that shit he made watching them new Deliveroo adverts bearable.

Get rid of these and ad five or six players and Manchester United will be back and ready to challenge those at the top.

But just remember, as always, it might not be the best at Manchester United right now, it could be worse. You could be from Liverpool.

Follow me on Twitter: @_calstone

What do we need at Manchester United?

Remember that first game of the season? We had just beaten Chelsea 4-0 and all nearly cried like little bitches because Dan James had scored his first goal and then dedicating it to his late dad. Seems so long ago now doesn’t it…

Since then, we went on a run of results that could only be as bad as the bird shite Ashley Young tasted that time. It even hit the point where you got fans, or what I like to call them, complete Morons, asking for Ole to be sacked. You know for Pochetino or Allegri. Pochetino: a manager on a worse run than us and Allegri: a manager that would have to turn into a pyschopath if he considered working with woodwank and the KFC eating gremlins that own the club.

To be fair to United, we have had a run of injuries that can only be described as A&E in Manchester on a Friday night. Stats suggest that without these injuries there’s a chance Man United would be a lot higher up the table. Of course, it goes without saying we wouldn’t be challenging Liverpool (sigh) but we’d be better off. Still, we are where we are and I would blame the board. I hope they haven’t set Ole up to fail.

To be serious for a minute, we did have a horrible run but in the past couple of weeks it looks like we have turned it around or at least we look like were past the worst of it. For now. A 1-1 draw against the vermin was a result we’d all have taken before the game, however, the nature in which the match played out left a sour taste in the mouth of all the fans because it felt like a loss. A game where the team did so well for so long only for a lapse of concentration to hand Liverpool an equaliser.

However, away wins to Partizan, Norwich and Chelsea followed with key players returning. A team that was starting to come back together showing everyone what it can do when it is at its full strength or very close to full strength.

Dan James, AWB and Harry Maguire have all been excellent showing us that if given time Ole knows how to spot a player who can make a real difference to the team. Scott McTominay looks like a leader coming into his own so he has proved a majority of us fans wrong. I am always happy to be wrong about a United player as long as they come good in the end. Fred seems like he’s finding his feet finally after over a year and £52 million quid spent. Dave in net and Martial and Rashford in the forward line just to name a few and it looks like we have a foundation there to build a team that can actually go and challenge those teams at the top.

But like I said we need more, a lot more..

I want to start with the forwards. Martial, Rashford, Greenwood and James all have potential to be world class with a couple being closer to that tag than others. But that is what it is. It is potential. As well, with the injury luck we’ve had there isn’t really anybody to come in and replace these should the worst happen. Adding a couple more forwards and it could see us remember how to score more than one fucking goal per game.

Ed Woodward saw our midfield and thought “yeah mate, that’s sound that.” Well dickhead, i’m not being funny but turning down Bruno Fernandes and giving Juan Mata, someone about as useful as the UK Eurovision entry, a contract extension couldn’t have been a decision from the football people in charge could it? Shut up you winnet. I’ve gone on a rant but you get my point. Ander Herrera leaving without being replaced is criminal in my opinion and bringing someone in that can be that tenacious box to box midfielder could really allow Pogba (or someone else) to have the freedom to push forward and create chances. A creative midfielder and another shithouse wind-up merchant like Herrera would be perfect for United. Someone challenging Scott for his position wouldn’t be a bad thing either.

The defence was where the bulk of our summer spending was carried out but one or two more might still be needed. Another left-back might end up becoming a priority for Ole if he loses patience with Shaw. It’s a shame for Shaw but I am starting to think he might coming to the end at United. With Brandon Williams gaining a promotion to the first team and excelling in his role, Luke might be sweating a bit.

No point getting a Goalkeeper in because big Dave is the best in the world and I will fight anyone that tells me otherwise. Alright I won’t and I know Ederson’s distribution is probably better but allow me will ya.

I want to conclude by saying this. Ole in the transfer market has started perfectly and given time I certainly think he will continue to get it right. If i was Ole and I wake up everyday literally wishing I was, I would be looking at six or seven players to bring us back to the top. A striker, right winger, creative/attacking midfielder, a holding or box to box midfielder, a left back and another centre back is what I would be looking at. That’s what i would be looking at but hey what the fuck do I know? I’m just a dickhead from Manchester.

I am certainly not saying its going to be cheap but this time it is imperative we are smart with our business and buy players that want to play for Manchester United. Bringing in the right players as well as promoting players like Jimmy Garner and Brandon Williams into the first team and we will definitely be on our way back to the top. As long as it isn’t 30 years like them that eat out of the bins over in Liverpool.

Give Ole time and be patient. The guy will get it right eventually. You can’t keep changing managers.

But just remember, as always, it might not be the best at Manchester United right now, it could be worse. You could be from Liverpool.

Follow me on Twitter: @_calstone

MUFC v Liverpool! The team we hate the most

Gary Neville — Giving it to the Scousers!

We play against the vermin tomorrow and I could probably speak for most of the fan base in saying I am not that confident but it is the Scousers and we should still be excited. After all, we all frigging hate them more than anybody else.

There should always be a buzz before this game. No matter how bad our form is, beating Liverpool and seeing a smile fall off their faces and watching their women crying their terribly drawn eyebrows off should be enough motivation for the players. They should be sat in the Lowry hotel right now, buzzing knowing that they have the honour of playing in the biggest game in English football. I still don’t get why they don’t just stay in the hotel over the road but anyway whatever.

Lets face it though, none of us are really expecting us to win tomorrow are we? It would be the most United thing ever to lose 1-0 to Newcastle for us to then follow it up by beating Liverpool. Maybe, tomorrow Ashley Young might actually cross the ball into the box and it find a United shirt. Maybe, Rojo will come in and two foot Salah and stick his middle finger up to Klopp and call him a weird hugging freak. Maybe, Rashford will hit Row X with a free kick instead of Row Z (just kidding love you really.)

However, it’s United and since our success has dried up, we’re not allowed anything nice are we. A footballing god is clearly from Leeds and is probably pissed off that we took Cantona and waited years for his perfect revenge. I mean how does De Gea get injured. Didn’t he just kick the ball and ended up pulling a muscle? A footballer kicking a football and getting hurt. What a joke. Pogba is injured after his umm masterclass against the second biggest club in Manchester. No, not Manchester City whose fans use their personalities as birth control. Rochdale. Our team is just broken really isn’t it?

However, I know we’re not the favourites and a loss is a very likely outcome but if any of those players come off of that pitch and haven’t given 100% they should never ever put on the United jersey ever again. If you are a Manchester United player and you can’t get up for a Liverpool match, well you’re a disgrace. We’ll probably lose 5-0 and our best ever captain Ashley Young will say he can’t fault the effort because he is just that much of a special kind of dickhead. God that guy does my nut in sometimes.

It’s shit losing to Liverpool. It annoys me as much as those weird girls who use their star sign as an excuse for being a bitch. “Sorry about that, I’m a capricorn, it’s just what i’m like” Nah mate go away will you. Anyway.. as well as that, you have to deal with the scousers go on about it for ages. Wouldn’t it be so great if we could just shut them all up. If we did beat them, we won’t have to listen to their high pitch squeaky twat bag accents and that would be doing everyone a favour.

It’s a big game tomorrow and a loss will no doubt will put more pressure on Ole but come on United, It’s Liverpool! Let’s just try and get a shot on target and take it from there. Baby steps.

It’s going to be a long transition this one. We’ve got a lot more misery to come our way I am sure of it but please try and beat them tomorrow. If i was to give a prediction I would say we rob a 1-0 win(No pun intended..) or they batter us 4 or 5 nil. No in between and I really pray it isn’t the latter.

Things are bad at Manchester United but it of course it could be worse. You could be a bindipper like they are in Liverpool. Your mum, your sister and your girlfriend could all be the same person like they have over in Liverpool. You could defend racists yet preach how wrong it is like they love to in Liverpool. You could always be the victim. It could never be your fault. You could be a scouser. So yeah, it could definitely be worse. Remember that.

Follow me on Twitter: @_calstone

Manchester United are even further from the top than we thought.

Another shocker from United in a 1-0 loss to Newcastle United.

I am writing this after a 1-0 loss against Newcastle United with a performance from Manchester United that can only be described as absolute garbage. Unfortunately, this is what United are nowadays. A laughing stock.

You know what, the only positive I can think of to come out of today’s game is the fact it is now the international break. Thank the fecking lord that we don’t have to watch that shower of shite again for two weeks.

Over the last few seasons I would get so angry watching the players and say that they didn’t care or that they didn’t consider the fans with their utterly crap performances but that just simply isn’t the case anymore. The case now is there clear as day for the whole footballing world to see. These players are not good enough.

Let’s just pick out some performances from the game against Newcastle United today. A couple of players were okay but in the grand scheme of things, they were just less shite than the others.

Juan Mata once was a cracking little player but honestly you could put my left bollock in attacking midfield today and it would have created more than what he did in the game. In all seriousness, he is certainly not our biggest problem but I don’t personally see what he did to deserve his new contract. Must have been cheaper than buying a new player huh Ed?

Rashford. Right, don’t get me wrong but I genuinely do like Rashford but either he is injured and playing through some pain or he just isn’t a number 9. It’s obvious there is so much talent there in him, but his movement today was completely non-existent. Dan James should have about seven hundred assists but Rashford just doesn’t run into the right areas to finish off the move. He should be busting a gut to find that pocket of space by the 6-yard box to nick a goal and he just doesn’t. I hope we see the superstar in him. His numbers for United are good so it’s time for him to kick on now.

I’m 23 years old. Much of my life I grew up with so much success watching us just win everything. It was mint. I grew up seeing captains like Gary Neville grab his shirt and show the scousers we’re better than them and Roy Keane not take any shit of anyone. Yet now I watch the worst captain in my lifetime frustrate the fuck out of me. Ashley fucking Young is about as useful as a window in a submarine. To put it nicely he is fucking shit! I can’t honestly remember the last time he crossed a ball and it accurately found a red shirt. He can piss off with the Glazers and that Balloon head Ed Woodwank.

Brazil are historically one of the greatest, if not the greatest, footballing nations. Along with this, some of the players to come from here are so good. So how the fuck did Manchester United spend 52 MILLION on a Brazilian midfielder called Fred. Fred the Red would probably do a better job. I really thought he’d come good and I suppose he still could but right now its like he is the footballing equivalent of wet socks. Annoying as fuck.

McTominay, James, Maguire and Axel were slightly bright sparks in today’s stinker. Maguire did miss a sitter but let’s not mention that because it doesn’t hide the fact we were as shit as Gary Lineker’s boxer shorts. Axel stood out for me though and could even be taking Lindelof’s position in the starting XI if he carries on his form. Plus, the chant United fan’s have made up is bloody good as well.

It isn’t a good time at Manchester United at the minute and I’d like to think most United fans know that the problem lies at Board level. We knew United weren’t at the level of Liverpool and City but unfortunately we are even further away from them than we originally thought.

But just remember, as always, it might not be the best at Manchester United right now, it could be worse. You could be from Liverpool.

Lets talk about the investors conference call

Is he the reason United have been a consistent failure?

£629 million. That is how much Manchester United made in the year leading up to the 30th June 2019. Ed announced this figure in the recent conference call with our investors. Lets have a little talk about it shall we?

Man United are wodded. Like proper Wodded. It was a record breaking year for us which is brilliant. We should be happy that we seem to be in a good position financially which should leave us in good stead for the future. Future is bright then, especially with our world class vice chairman in charge. Hmmm about that..

Right, I am going to start with some positives which is hard for my miserable bastard self but here goes. Ed Woodward has commercially been good for United. We consistently attract sponsorship deals and make a shed load of money. So on the business side of things he seems to be doing his job. As well as this, the debt is down to £200m, the lowest its been for a while. Positive notes over. Christ that was hard.

Right, I actually want to talk about the investors call now and look at a few of the things the biggest dickhead in football said. Not Phil Jones, Arise Ed Woodward…

“Everyone at the club remains resolute in our desire to get Manchester United back to the top of English football.” I don’t think that’s totally correct is it Eddie. I can think of one family who don’t give a single shit about United being at the top. The Glazer family don’t give a shite mate. Second highest revenue in the world and we have a net spend this summer of around £70 million. We have the money they just won’t release it. To be honest, they won’t care if we are near the top as long as we still have that global appeal to attract sponsorships. If the money keeps rolling in then they’re happy.

To the next point, remember a long time ago when Woodwank said about a head of football, well: “Regarding the speculation around the head of football, we are continually reviewing and looking at the potential to evolve our structure on the football side,” “We feel the players we’ve signed in the summer demonstrate this approach is the right one.” Now, I don’t know about you, but to me that does not sound like a new head of football is imminent. He still believes the current approach is fine. Yes, the players signed in the summer are brilliant but we only signed THREE players!!! Considering it was our biggest rebuild in recent history and that is all he could be arsed to do it’s not good enough. Well done you great big tit. He obviously believes he is a football expert, after all Schweinsteiger did send shivers down our spine didn’t he…

The guy doesn’t know what he is doing when it comes to football. Simple as that. The gap needs to be closed between the management and recruitment. We can’t allow Woodward to be in charge of this anymore. Just look at the signings over the last 6 years. A proper football structure would have stopped some of the disastrous investments we have made. They didn’t work. We’ve spent similar to Man City yet look at the differences. If Ed really wanted us back to the top he needs to pull his finger out and look at the best in class and hire a ‘head of football’.

“It is important we are patient” Well now he is just stating the fecking obvious. We’ve had to put up with this garbage for 6 years now.

There is no doubt, investors in Manchester United will be happy. I would be if i invested in something making a great deal of money. Us fans though aren’t as easily pleased. We care about football, results and performances. We also care about that ‘desire’ to get back to the top actually being shown by our board. We’ve gone backwards. After our season last season, this summer was a huge chance to invest in the right players and to at least try and close the gap. Yet, we didn’t replace key players that departed us. Why? We have the money, there is no excuse for why they weren’t replaced. We have gotten worse and our wage bill increased £36 million!

We have no Champions league with it looking like we could even drop out the top 6 this season after we have picked up 8 points from 6. Ed has said the investment was good this summer which it was but our squad is so thin it is ridiculous. We needed 2 midfielders (did Bruno Fernandes ever pass that medical or what?) and at least a forward. We’re 6 games in and our only good midfielder is injured as well as most of our forwards not being 100% fit.

Ed is half right, our investment this summer gives us the building blocks for the future but we needed so much more. It seems we are happy to write another season off. We have the second highest revenue in football, should we not at least act like the second biggest club in the world? Making that much money in a year is great but how can he justify a net spend of £70m in two consecutive seasons. With a squad so thin, more was needed.

It’s pretty obvious change is needed in many ways at United. We need to be putting football first and not money for a start. I haven’t got a problem with Woodward being in charge of the business side of things, even if he does have a face you want to hit with a pillowcase filled with bars of soapbut a new football structure has to come into place sooner rather than later. The man is deluded if he thinks he should remain in charge of football operations.

I just want to finish by begging fans to give Ole time. He loves this club and is desperate to get it right. Problems are way above him i.e the Glazer family, the lack of structure, lack of investment and of course ED WOODWARD! Be patient and I am positive our legend will bring back the good days to Old Trafford.

I’ve written this whilst watching us play Rochdale in the League cup. It has finished 1-1 with MUFC winning on penalties. Some of these players are not fit to wear the shirt. Rotten to the core. Embarrassing. Disgraceful.

But just remember, as always, it might not be the best at Manchester United right now and fuck me it is awful it could always be worse, you could be from Liverpool.

Are United really planning for the future?

De Gea has signed a new contract until 2023 with the option of a further year.

The one thing Manchester United haven’t done in the post Ferguson era is plan for the future. However, summer signings and recent contract extensions have shown that the future might be brighter.

So lets start with the one player that has genuinely been world class barring the occasional dip of form. David De Gea! I might be exaggerating when I say this but I reckon he is literally the greatest goalkeeper ever. Okay, maybe not but still he’s mint in goal.

There has been a lot of speculation over his future and we were seconds away from losing him if it wasn’t for that amazing fax machine but somehow he has been here for 8 years and is looking very likely to head past the testimonial mark. He’s up there with the other legends like Phil Jones.. Nah, in all seriousness, the guy should be at Real Madrid winning multiple Champions League titles and instead he went onto make 350+ appearances and had to watch us defend like utter morons. It might be harsh but oh well whatever. All I say is, De Gea is a Man United legend and if he see’s this contract out he will probably go down as our greatest ever Goalkeeper.

Centre Back Lindelof has signed a contract extension until 2024!

Onto Lindelof. He has signed a contract extension until 2024 and if he improves and works as hard as he has since starting his career in Manchester then he will be an amazing defender for us. Last season, he was the first name on the team sheet and for me, he should have got player of the year. Lets have it right though, it has not been his best start to the season as he lost the battle in the air in the first goal against Palace and Southampton. I sort of forgive the latter as Vestergaard is basically the BFG in disguise and he doesn’t dive in his own half against Newcastle like Smalling (told you I can’t forgive him for that). There is still an improvement needed in his game but he has definitely shown all the attributes to be a top class defender. Chuffed to bits we have him signed up though especially when the Spanish cheats, I mean Barcelona were sniffing around him over the summer.

Maguire and Wan-Bissaka are signed up long term as well obviously as we only signed them this summer and they have been brilliant since signing. I’d call AWB spiderman but i’m still annoyed Marvel lost it. It was the best character ffs! Anyway, the defence is starting to look solid with us already matching our home clean sheet record from last season. Harry Maguire looked like a guy who wanted to prove a point against Leicester and he certainly proved it. The signs are there and a solid run with this defence in place could make us solid at the back. I’d like Shaw to step up though as it seems to be clear at the minute that he is the weak link. Not that he’s a bad player but he really needs to show he Can be Manchester United’s starting Left back and force his way back into the England set up.

Well then, the defence is sorted but I mean the midfield gives me an aneurysm. The lack of creativity without Pogba is glaring to see. Hardly anything seemed to be created against Leicester and I highly doubt we’d have won that game if it wasn’t for the Foxes replacement for Maguire being a complete wet wipe and gifting us a penalty. I’d like to think the midfield is the next step in Ole’s build for the future and if gossip is anything to go by, then James Maddison would be a good start. in my opinion, I’d want to also add Ruben Neves but what the fuck do I know?

Our Forward options have the potential but NEED to deliver on it this season because we just don’t have the back up. Martial and Rashford will be the future of Manchester United and their stats are incredible. However, they need to be consistent. Greenwood looks exciting as well with OGS already stating he’s the most natural finisher at the club. As well as that, Dan James is winning the Ballon D’or so we are definitely on the right track. The worry is with a couple of injuries and relying on youngsters so heavily it could be a big risk on our season.

Ole is clearly building for the future and it’s amazing to see after the good times haven’t been as often as it was in the past. The future does look bright but it will only be bright if the club and more importantly our fans give the manager time to get it right. I am sick of seeing tweets calling for Ole to be sacked. Seriously just shut up you bunch of clowns. Give him time.

But just remember, as always, it might not be the best at Manchester United right now but it could always be worse, you could be from Liverpool.

MATCHTALK: Southampton v MUFC

***A disappointing 1-1 draw for the Reds this weekend.***

Jannik Vestergaard managed to beat Victor Lindelof to equalise for Southampton with the scores staying that way due to Man United being pretty bloody useless. So, What happened?

Manchester United started fairly well with our newboy Dan James smashing a rocket of a shot into the top corner of the Southhampton goal meaning the 21 year old Welshman has now scored three premier league goals in four appearances. Not bad for a guy that told Leeds to do one once he realised they were scum. Fair play. United legend already.

However, we know that United are bound to fade away and as they did the Saints gained momentum and the inevitable happened. Yep, they equalised. Vestergaard’s first goal for Southampton.

Man United had their chances but it’s a bit like whenever we played Burnley when Tom Heaton was in goal. The oppositions goalkeeper turned into a prime Buffon and just saved frigging everything. Greenwood had a cracking shot that Gunn just seemed to save with ease and Lingard well just did a #Jlingz and missed.

In the end, it was just a bad day for United and if I am honest, it nearly ruined my weekend in Blackpool but seeing The Clone Roses made me forget all about how frustrating we are to watch.

The lack of quality in our midfield and forward line unfortunately showed. Our best players simply need to step up. Pogba didn’t put in his best performance and the lack of creativity in midfield meant there was nobody else to give that killer pass to set up that something special. If Pogba doesn’t perform who else do we have? Hey Ed, it’s almost as if signing a couple of midfielders in the summer was a good thing but its fine, you dickhead.

The draw leaves us with 2 wins in 13 games and zero wins away from home since that special night in Paris. It seems so long ago that now. Remember how happy we all were. Title 21 is definetly happening..

We are in transition and I think we need to deal with the fact that results like this are going to happen quite a lot throughout this season. Of course that kind of result isn’t good enough for Manchester United but what did we expect. Yes we have sorted our defence out but lets not forget, we NEEDED two midfielders at least this summer and maybe even a forward and we got none of this. Whether you like them or not, Fellaini, Lukaku and Ander Herrera needed to be replaced and they just weren’t. I personally don’t think the Glazers wanted to release more funds but that’s another debate.

Unfortunately, success and league titles are still a long way off and it’s even sadder knowing that the two teams we hate the most are the ones who are going to be at the top and don’t look like slowing down. We need to be very patient and give Ole time to build a squad capable of not just challenging for trophies but just winning games.

But just remember, as always, it might not be the best at Manchester United right now but it could always be worse, you could be from Liverpool.

Twitter: @The_United_Road

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Deadwood going? Let us hope..

*Chr*is Smalling completed a season long loan to AS Roma

So, Man United fans like myself have been crying out for those bang average players to be shipped out of the club and it looks like we have hit the beginning of the end.

Players like Ashley Young and the oh so ‘brilliant’ Sir Phil Jones have been called upon as part of our first choice defence when in reality the only memorable thing Phil Jones has done is pull a funny face after he has made yet another ridiculous and idiotic mistake. Phil Jones honestly reminds me of the guy you pick last in P.E to be on your team even though you asked the teacher if you could pick the lump of dog shit to be on your team instead and then get sent to the headmasters office for swearing.

Young, however, I can half forgive. The club have failed to replace so many players over the years and the ex winger now turned terrible footballer has been called on to fill in positions that hes now longer capable of. I’ll also forgive him for those curlers in the 8-2 against Arsenal (mini brag to say i was at that game) He is probably going to replace Shaw as he is now out injured so you know, we spent all that time praying to whoever is in the sky to sign a new Right back only for him to go to left back. The only positive I can think is if I am not mistaken his contract ends at the end of the season but with Ed Woodward at the helm, he will end up giving him his own show on MUTV.

Ahhhh Nemanja Matic. The guy with the turning circle of a Northern Rail train. Surely his last season at MUFC. I don’t really have the biggest issue with Matic I just think it’s obvious that his legs are aging. Mctominay has taken his position but a huge improvement is still needed in midfield. I sound like Alan Shearer just stating the bleeding obvious now.

Darmain and Rojo. I mean what is even the point of them? Rojo is staying. okay whatever I’ll wait for his 4 appearances this season and him getting away with tackles that only mass murderers should commit. Thankfully, Darmain is leaving for a massive fee of £1.5 million. signed £12.5 million. Well done on that one Ed.

Sanchez, the biggest waste of money since that full pint of San Miguel i spilt all over myself. 4 quid i’ll never see again. I’m not mentioning Lukaku, i’m still upset with him for when he knocked me out at Old Trafford with his first touch.

Onto the picture of this blog post Chris ‘Mike’ Smalling. Of all of our SEVEN centre backs, Smalling isn’t the worst but he is a guy who I think might have half a brain in his stupid head. Remember, Newcastle away when we lost 1-0? You know the one where the great big TIT took a dive in his own half and gave away a free kick and then you guessed it, that club in the North east went to scored from. How much of a donkey do you have to be? I mean seriously, what could have gone through his head for him to do that. I should probably move on from that considering it was nearly a year and a half ago but I like to moan and that day he really did my head in. Thanks for the winning Derby goal and Congrats on 9 years at United but christ it was time to move on. Oh yeah, good luck too obviously..

Things might not be the best at Manchester United right now but just remember it could always be worse, you could be from Liverpool.

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