The Flowers of Manchester

Munich air disaster tribute at Old Trafford

A small tribute and a poem I see every year that never fails to give me goosebumps.

R.I.P to the Busby Babes. We will never forget you. A team taken so young.

Twas the night before Christmas, Old Trafford was bare.

The staff all gone home, there was nobody there..

The lights cast a shadow, a soft glimmer which

lit up the soft green grass on the pitch.

Just as the clock gave out its twelfth chime

An old man appeared, as if frozen in time.

He gazed at the tunnel, then broke out in voice

“ITS TIME TO BEGIN.. LETS HAVE YOU MY BOYS”

Out from the tunnel appeared a lone figure

Same as in life, only infinitely bigger

The old man called out as he slowly drew near

“good evening Duncan, are the rest of you here”

The figure broke out in wide open smile

“Good Evening Sir Matt, it has been a long while

The rest are all coming, they’ll be here soon,”

As seven more shadows were cast by the moon.

Whelan and Bent, Pegg, Taylor and Byrne,

Jones , and Colman, they came out in turn.

He greeted each one, just by calling their name

then proudly announced “do you fancy a game”

They took to the pitch, and the still night was broken

By leather on leather, not one word was spoken

They played once again, like they did long before

And imagined the sound of the Old Trafford roar

Edwards called out “come on lads lets pretend

That we’ve just scored a goal at the old Stretford End”

As they ran to the edge of the pitch by the goal

There in the stands sat a solitary soul.

His eyes were all puffy, his cheeks wet with tears

As his mind wandered back to those wonderful years

“come down and join us” they cried all as one

“yes come down and join them” said Matt “go on son”

The lonely man stood and with much pain he said

“I’m afraid I can’t play with you, you are all dead.

You are all ghosts, and I am alive

That was the price that I paid to survive”

My role was to go on, inspire the team

And finally realise Matt Busbys dream

To tell of your greatness, and as I get older

To burden the weight of your life on my shoulders.”

The ghost of Sir Matt then raised up his head

Giving out a loud groan, he finally said

“Bobby, You survived, that much is true

But we wouldn’t be here if it were not for you

For you are the one who has kept us alive

That was the reason you had to survive

If you were with us, all we have would be gone

And the game that we play could no longer go on

If you can’t understand why it happened this way

Then come here and watch when United play

They sing about us, they remember us all

We live and we breathe with each kick of the ball

The legends that live here, Robson and Best,

Cantona, Law, Giggs, Scholes and the rest

They are us, we are them, we are all here as one

And that is the reason United goes on

So come down and join us, we’re begging you do

You are still one of us, and we’re still one of you”

And then Bobbys face rose and he gave them a smile

And he said “I would love to come play for a while”

They played and they played, as they did in the past

Only not quite as skilful, and not quite as fast

And when it was over, and when it was done

They’d defeated Benfica by four goals to one.

Then Sir Matt said “lads, its been fun you know

But It’s now Christmas day, and we really must go”

They walked to the front of the stadium and turned

And Sir Bobby said “there is something I’ve learned”

“You did not die, on that February night

You’re still here with us, as you’re with me tonight

And you’ll live on forever as long as we play

As the ghosts disappeared down Sir Matt Busby way…

Enjoy the game tonight. Thank You.

Cloud nine – Perfect reaction!

Image
Luke Shaw continuing his fine form. (Credit: Manchester Evening News)

Did that actually happen on Tuesday?

You’re not going to believe this, but I had this dream last night where Manchester United won a game 9-0.  NINE. 4 goals in the first half and 5 in the second. Makes it even better that this is the second time that we have scored nine in a league match.

If I’m honest, I was quite nervous for this game, I wrote last week that the reaction the Sheffield United game wasn’t good enough against Arsenal and quite frankly, not beating Arsenal was even more frustrating than the game against the blades.

It felt like we might be dropping a bit and maybe heading to a league position that we all thought would be more suitable given how we all thought at the start of this season. Our top 6 record has been very average this season and the Arsenal game was probably our best opportunity to show that they really are a club going down faster than a cheap pornstar.  

What was needed after the Arsenal game was a statement of intent. The team to go out there and show we can be up there with the very best in this premier league.

I think it’s fair to say that winning 9 (nine)-0 against a very good Southampton team was united showing a ruthless streak that we haven’t seen for many years. Under the previous three managers before Ole, we scored 5+ goals just twice. We’ve done it 8 times under Ole. Scoring 9 was something that goes into Premier league history with it being only the third time it has happened.

The game started with some dramatics with a 19-year-old debutant being sent off for a horrific challenge on McTominay. From then on, the game was United’s to grab by the scruff of the neck.

Aaron Wan-Bissaka opened the scoring with Marcus Rashofrd slotting away the second. Then my bench boost on fantasy league royally fucked me when Bednarek scored an own goal and later got sent off. MINUS 7 points. The dickhead. The first half concluded at 4-0 with Cavani heading in the 4th.

In the second half it was good opportunity for us to rest players with Donny and Martial coming on. An opportunity for Martial to find his form after being pretty torrid recently. He came on and did exactly what was asked of him. 2 goals for him and winning a penalty. Bruno the catalyst again showing why he is the best in the league right now. Dan James sealed off the win in the final minute to make it 9-0.

A brilliant performance from a ruthless Manchester United. I really loved how we didn’t feel sorry for Southampton. I love that the team constantly wanted more. It was the reaction I wanted to see after a wasteful Arsenal game and a pathetic performance against Sheffield United. It was so refreshing to see us show the desire to not only win but win with such conviction.

I want to quickly mention that somehow Alex Telles has turned into the signing of the summer. Look what that singing has done to Luke Shaw. It’s like his left foot has turned into David Beckham’s right foot. A brilliant turnaround from a player that so many (myself included) had written off.

Him and Telles fighting out for the left back spot will keep both of their games at the best they can be and hopefully Wan-Bissaka can keep up his good form too.

Personally, I don’t think we’ll win the league but it’s nice to dream isn’t it. For now, shall we all just continue to call Klopp a yellow teeth scouse twat and laugh at his pathetic excuses.

A quick read tonight. Enjoy it.

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MUFC 1-2 SUFC -What the f*** was that?

Harry Maguire
Maguire scores his first goal at Old Trafford (credit: BBC sport)

That was just a disgrace that last night wasn’t it?

It’s been 2 weeks since the last blog because I didn’t think I could write another blog on how much I hate Liverpool considering we played twice in the space of a week so I thought I’d give myself a break. Joking, work was really busy and until you lot pay me for this, it doesn’t pay the bills.

I planned to write about the win in the cup against the scousers and the brilliance of Paul Pogba in the 2-1 win against Fulham.

Nah, let’s talk about the fact I watched Manchester United play like they’d just been to 42s, necked 10 cans of red stripe and failed to pull. Of course, we dropped points against the Blades last season, but this season felt different. Our current form was brilliant coming off a 3-2 win against Liverpool and Sheffield United being rock bottom of the premier league.

Everything and I mean everything pointed towards Manchester United putting a blade into the Blades and going to the top of the table. We simply couldn’t lose. How could we? Surely not.

Well as the Peaky Blinders say, “Because we fucking can, and if we can, we do.”

Manchester United; Champions of England. Based on last nights performance you can piss yourself laughing and make sure you don’t get any hopes up.

We started the game okay I felt but something felt off about us last night. The confidence we’ve had going into games recently just didn’t seem to be there and our passes as the game progressed started to look wayward and our overall game began to look quite sloppy. This was shown when we Sheffield were starting to get through on goal.

However, how in all that is holy was their first goal given and not even looked at by VAR. We invest in technology to make it look like Stevie Wonder was in Stockley Park. In real-time it looks like a crowded 6-yard box, but on replay, Billy Sharp has no eyes for the ball and just completely pushes David De Gea out of the way. Compare that with the disallowed goal at the other end where Maguire simply jumps and Ramsdale just fumbles it. The referee doing his job as bad as the Matt Hancock as he blew before the ball went in the net to allow for a VAR review.

Officiating in this country is in the toilet at the minute, isn’t it?

This brings me to what I really want to talk about. Sheffield United’s second goal. I was sat there screaming at the TV. Burke took a shot which was stopped. Then 15 seconds later took another that deflected in to make it 2. Did a single one of those PROFESSIONAL FUCKING FOOTBALLERS think to themselves that one of them should go and mark him?

Why didn’t Maguire clear it for a corner? Why didn’t De Get put his foot through it for a throw-in? Why didn’t Matic go out to Lundstrum who passed the ball to Burke? Why did Martial stroll back without a care in the world? Why didn’t someone pick Burke up in the area? Bruno realised Burke was stood alone in the box but it was too late. Everyone stood around pointing fingers as to where the fault was. Burke was completely free right in front of Pogba. Either somebody spotted him and couldn’t be arsed or they didn’t think to command the area and tell someone to go to him. Amateur defending from players who looked so out of character last night.

It was a complete shambles from the entire team showing a complete lack of leadership and communication. You wouldn’t expect to see that on a Sunday league game. Imagine doing that on a cold Sunday morning? Your Dad would be screaming at you and telling you no McDonald’s after the game.

Remember when Cavani gave the ball away in the Liverpool game and they went onto score. Remember him busting a gut to try and win the ball back, recognising his mistake and chasing the ball back like a dog fetching his stick. Now compare that with Anthony Martial and his pathetic attempt to get back and win the ball back. Martial has talent up there with the very best, but there is no doubt that his form has not been good enough this season. His body language doesn’t look right and something needs to change.

Rashford looked nowhere near his best either. He wasn’t chasing balls down and giving up way too easily letting opposition players glide past him and then not bothering to trackback. Nowhere near good enough. Both him and Martial were lucky to stay on for the full 90 and feel Mason Greenwood was the best out of the 3 and unfortunate to be the forward who was subbed.

It’s not the fact we lost last night. We were on a brilliant run and losing is part and partial of football but it was how we lost. It’s simply not good enough for a team who are being labelled as title challengers.

More importantly, that team played badly last night, but if your reaction to two black players playing badly is to racially abuse them, then a special fuck off to you and to quite frankly, fuck off from supporting Manchester United. Your actions have consequences and you will be caught. Well done to Rio Ferdinand for outing so many and not blurring out their profiles.

I think last night was a reality check. We joke about title 21 but deep down nobody believed a title challenge was coming this season and it’s a credit to Ole, the coaching staff and the players that we are even in the title picture.

It was an infuriating performance from a team that was good enough to win the game. The lack of intensity, the lacklustre attempt to win the ball back and body language meant we were the for the taking.

It is clear progress but ultimately we are still short if we are challenging for a league title. I think a solid defensive midfielder who would be a replacement for Matic, a right-winger, a centre back and a striker is what is left to complete the jigsaw. Ha. Imagine the Glazers funding that ey?

If only we were in a transfer window and had a board that wanted to invest in the team instead of shining Tom Brady’s boots.

I get it’s January but it is our best chance at a league title in years and a player in one of the needed positions would give us a much better chance at challenging in the second half of the season. Just a small reminder that we should all still want the Glazer’s out.

Next game is against Arsenal and a huge response is needed. If we want to be considered genuine title contenders, a huge response is needed from the players. I don’t want to see a lazy display like I saw last night.

One final thing, Goodbye to Odion Ighalo, a man who lived his dream and did exactly what was needed. If only I could live my dream of seeing Kelly Brook on a trampoline then we can all die happy.

We might have played terribly but just remember, things could always be worse. You could be from Liverpool.

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Top! Can we stay there?

The highly-rated teenager holds up his new United shirt on his first day at the training ground
New signing Amad Diallo (credit: MailOnline)

1-6 against Tottenham. Remember that?

I do. Jesus Christ, I remember Martial getting sent off and asking the lass behind the bar to bring me two jager bombs. It was a low day that made even worse when me and the missus lost the pub quiz later on in the day. Still fuming about that.

Slight tangent but my point is who would have thought that 3 months later we’re top of the league and could go 6 points clear by beating the Voldemort of the premier league. Imagine saying that. But we’ll talk about the league later.

It was FA cup weekend and manager of the year nominee oversaw his team lose 3-0 to a league 2 side. I had to mention it because it’s my blog and I can do what the fuck I want. The main thing is Man United won and it could be a great opportunity to get a trophy this season. A scrappy win against Watford which saw Captain Scott McTominay score the only goal to send us through to the 4th round. Notice that? I called him by his actual name and not ‘McSauce’. That’s because I’m not the age of someone Prince Andrew wants to finger.

As we are through to the next round, it brings me nicely to our next opponents. Yep, it’s that time of year. It’s like Christmas. Useless fat twat in red who comes to your house eats your food and only works once a year. You guessed it. Liverpool.

As you know from reading this blog that I’m not actually the biggest fan of Liverpool. I think their fans are grim who think they never do anything wrong. “This means more” do fuck off to your sisters for a shag, will you? Their manager is a hypocrite who goes on about Penalties yet Mo Salah dives and flaps about more times than a wanker.

This hatred of Liverpool is bigger than football. It stems from the ship canals and the industrial revolution and how the scousers treated us mancs. We have to hate Man City but in reality, we don’t actually care about them. We just deal with their rubbish because they’re like little children. They hate the fact we’ll always be bigger than them. Liverpool are different.

We hate everything about that football club and the sheer hypocrisy of the shit they spout. They claim to be all about working-class yet wanted all their workers on furlough. They speak of glories like there’s no tomorrow. The media love in for Klopp is baffling. His excuses for losing games, him moaning about not having 5 subs yet making one substitution. He’s treated as this lord saviour yet he lost 3 finals and didn’t win a thing for 4 years. Ole has lost 4 Semi-finals and Jason McAteer is spunking himself.

Roberto Firmino might honestly be the most overrated player I’ve seen. He’s about as useful as Stephen Hawking running for a bus. A defensive forward? What the fuck is one of them? Liverpool were labelled as one of the best teams ever in the premier league with some even saying they were better than the treble-winning side of 99. Pundits who get paid real money for their opinions said that. Can you believe it? It was on Talksport like but that radio station reminds me of the F1, only with bigger helmets.

All we need is a point on Sunday after victory against Burnley to remain at the top but imagine Klopp’s reaction to a 1-0 win with Bruno converting a dodgy penalty decision. Just inject it in my eyes. We could have so many petitions and death threats. I bet they even call for the season to be null and void.

Enough about Liverpool considering we play them the week after in the FA cup as well.

As were top of the league it’d be natural for a club to go out and buy someone to show we’re serious. Amid Diallo has come in and if I’m honest, I don’t exactly know much about him. He could be world-class or he could be worse than Logan Paul in a boxing ring but see how he goes. He seems to be very highly rated in Italy so is obviously a talent. Could save us a lot of money if he fills in the position Jadon Sancho was supposed to take.

I still think we need one more though. A centre back. Upamecano would be a good buy I think but we might have to wait till summer. I’m just worried in case we get injuries because we rely so heavily on Fernandes. We’ve not been top of the league for so long that it’d be good if the club showed some intent of staying there.

Timbo has left with Romero, Rojo and possibly Jesse Lingard leaving. unfortunately for these players, it was time they moved on. They need game time and won’t be getting it in Manchester. Timbo going to Leverkusen is a great move and genuinely believe he could shine over there. Good luck to him. Once Phil Jones (Yep he’s still here) is fit it will be time for him to move on also.

With these going it will free up room in the wage budget and hopefully, in the summer we can add some extra muscle to the squad for more progress. It’s there for all to see at the minute sitting at the top of the league but our goal now should be to maintain that.

Let’s not drop off and we can get back to the top. Somewhere we were for so long under Sir Alex.

21 is possible.

Enjoy the game and hopefully, the next blog is with us sitting 6 points clear. Stay safe and hopefully a better year is ahead of us.

Remember though, it could be worse you could be from Leeds.….

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Still hated, Still adored..

Eric Bailly celebrating the win against Aston Villa (Credit: DailyMail/allforunited)

We’re a funny old club aren’t we?

Fans hate us but always tweet about us, were over rated but second in the league. We have a PE teacher in charge yet the brilliant tacticians are spending a quarter of a billion whilst down in 8th? Joint top only exists when DT says it exists. Dickhead. 

Anyway, another week and another blog. 3 in two weeks? Christ you’ll see me on sky sports soon with ear plugs in because of how annoyingly loud Micah Richards’ laugh is. There is no way anybody is that happy all the time. Swear he’s having his bollocks tickled under the table. Either that or he actually is just an annoying bastard. 

We won again didn’t we with another “debatable” penalty. In it weird though? Being fucking tripped over in the box only seems to be debatable when it happens to a united player?

Bruno is over rated because all he does is score penalties. I mean all this might actually mean maybe they’re a little worried united might ruin their adulthood as much as they did their childhood?

I thought the team played brilliantly with Paul Pogba showing that he really can ooze class and contribute to winning a game. Bruno and Pogba linked up really well with the latter winning the penalty for Bruno to convert. Its just a shame he can’t push his agent down a well. If he could fit down one that is. 

I can’t talk about the Aston Villa game without mentioning Eric Bailly. The Ivorian simply showed us all that when fit, he probably is the best centre back at the club. The biggest lunatic as well but we’ll brush past that bit. A deserved MOTM performance and its great to see him finally getting a run in the team. His pace and craziness suits Maguire down to the ground. 

A huge three points for us, especially with the vermin going to St Mary’s. A tough task for the scousers. 

Right, I’m moving on from the game and I want to talk about something that pisses me right off. Callums annoyed again. Shock.

We beat Leeds 6-2. Spurs beat them 3-0. Leicester and Crystal fucking Palace beat them 4-1. So why do pundits and mentioning no names Jake Humphrey lick their holes cleaner than Jim white does to guests on talk sport? I’ve never known something so ridiculous. They get battered all game, defend like they’re in Sunday league but because they attack every now and then Bielsa lauded as the guy that cured coronavirus. Fuck off will you. 

And another thing, them knob heads from the united stand jumping on the bandwagon now as well. You lot wanted Ole sacked and Poch brought in. You lot said to sell Rashford and labelled him ‘Trashford’. You lot can lick a dog shit as well. In a world of screenshots, we can save your tweets and show you what a colossal fanny hair you’ve been. 

You made him out to be what Frank Lampard is now and he’s spent 250 million quid for christ sake! At least with Arteta, he has to deal with Tom Brady suck offs like we do.

Oh and guess what? Poch has a job now so maybe hush your mouths and go and support PSG now. 

Right enough moaning. Bruno is genuinely brilliant isn’t he. He’s transformed the team in so many ways. He’s completely changed the mentality at the club to believe that we can win every time we can set foot on the field. Its so refreshing to see after seeing “we go again” on twitter every few days from the players after losing 2-1 to crystal palace at home. Or West Brom playing us off the park. 

It just feels good to be a united fan again and after these few years of watching dross, it’s great to know that we might watch an exciting game every week. 

I know right now, we are in the title race if you can call it that this early in the season but the top 10 is currently separated by only 7 points. This is why its vital we stay consistent. It’s vital we don’t slow down because that “joint” top position that pisses everyone off will soon become 6th if we let it.  

I’m not saying that united are back, all I’m saying is we’re definitely winning the league and either get on the title train now or do one. 21 is on.

Things are actually pretty good at United right now but still you know at least we’re not from Liverpool. 

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21 is coming, in it?

Marcus Rashford scores a late winner against Wolves
Rashford sending us within touching distance of the league leaders

Still bored, still nout to do, still writing a blog. I told you I’d start writing again!

Bet you’re all fecking ecstatic about that aren’t you?

So anyway, we’re here finally at the end of 2020 and if you’d have told me after Burnley game a year ago, that we’d be sitting second 3 points behind the league leaders then id have told you it’d be more likely to still have all 4 of your tyres on your car after parking up in Liverpool.

But Yano, were second and basically were going to win the league. Remember when I first started writing this and I moaned and basically said how shit we are and how much Andreas Pereira made me want to jump into the shit filled swamp off barton bridge. 

Im really curious to find all those who were Ole Out? I spoke to a guy the other day whilst doing another fucking zoom quiz and he said ole is out of his depth. Funnily enough, he put coleslaw on his pizza which just made me think he should be in prison to be honest so his opinion straight away meant nothing. 

IN FACT I was in the pub watching a game, can’t remember which game now and a lad came up to me and said “don’t you think he’s shit”. I stopped from ordering my 2 quid fosters (don’t judge) and said “surely you’re not talking about Rashford?” I just looked at the guy thinking to myself, what a knobhead. 

You can tell I don’t plan what I write and just see what comes into my head. No wonder I haven’t won any awards. 

Since my last post, we’ve played 3 games in all competitions. Won 2, progressing to the semis of the league cup (refuse to call it by whatever the fucking sponsor is this year) drew with Leicester and finally beaten Wolves. 

I missed the Everton game meaning we won, watched the Leicester game so obviously we drew and I did watch wolves but my girlfriend walked infront of the TV and then we scored. 

I swear I am cursed. The last game I watched where we won was the 5-0 win against Leipzig. And we now how that ended. Hello Thursday nights.

Im really impressed with the team at the moment. You can see there is a shift in mentality that they can go out and win every game. Although the past 7 years still makes you feel nervous as shit every time we play, you genuinely believe that the players won’t let you down.

One thing does still frustrate me, and its the one thing every united fan should remember. We still have an incompetent board and an ownership that’s more interested in Tom Brady’s jock strap then whether we win trophies.

I feel genuinely feel that any success we do get on the pitch this season will be in spite of the ownership and not because of it. 

The reason I say this is because I think back to the summer transfer market and think as good as Cavani has been, was he a panicked addition because they didn’t get Ole’s main targets. If he was wanted, he was a free agent, why did we get him on deadline day? Its still so frustrating.

It really makes me think that if the likes of Sancho was added, would we be first right now with a game in hand?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I don’t actually believe will win the league but what if? What if?

Its a funny game and this season has been mental. Fuck me, the Scouse rats got beat 7-2 by the peaky blinders for fuck sake. 

Look, I’m not saying we will win the league, but this is our best chance to win it in a very long time and if Ed Woodward is serious about getting this club back to where it belongs then a solid addition in January could be the difference. We could be looking at 21 and 2 ahead of Liverpool.

But of course its the Glazer Family so they’re probably excited about Tom Brady’s right arm. Because he plays American football..obviously..

Look its actually quite an exciting time to be a united fan right now and to be honest I’m very happy. Get behind the players, get behind the manager but remember the board still needs pressure and I want them to back us when we need it most. Lets go win the league and if we don’t, lets at least push the team that do all the way.

We’re seeing progress, finally and its so nice to see. 

Anyway, Happy New Year, stay safe and do what you need to do to keep yourselves sane. 

Enjoy 

Love your favourite pointless blogger 

Cal/TheUnitedRoad

P.S: Things are actually pretty good at United right now but still you know at least we’re not from Liverpool. 

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16 years they waited..

McTominay celebrating his brace against Leeds United

Seeming as I have a Manchester United blog I should probably start writing more shouldn’t I..

So what better way to start again than to have a good old laugh at our hated rivals? 

No, not Michael Owen on pundit duty. Let’s all take a moment to just welcome back, Leeds United.

But before I do, I want to say why i’m a very unlucky Man United Fan. I could be so much happier as a United fan right now but you know what its not even united’s fault this time. I’ve noticed a bit of a trend recently so I thought id test it out. But let me explain first..

So, it all started when we lost the game against PSG. I sat in with a can of beer excited and nervous waiting for a game I thought we really could win. But no, we lost 3-1 and my old favourite Ander Herrera is now dead to me. Diving prick. But anyway that’s besides the point.

We then played West Ham in the league. I couldn’t watch the whole game as I was busy but I did catch the start. Obviously we went 1-0 down and shortly after I went out we scored 3 and won 3-1. Typical in it. 

Watching the Leipzig game a bag of nerves and we played like I did on a Sunday morning after a heavy night. That is until I got pissed off and decided to go to the 24 hour primark as it seemed all but over that we were out of the champions league. AS SOON AS I LEFT, we scored twice. There’s no way I can seriously be this unlucky.

I then don’t watch the Leeds game and then it turns out to be the most exciting game of football. Either I did something wrong in a past life or Manchester United just fucking hate me. 

But enough of how everything is going wrong and lets actually have a chat about the game I purposefully missed so that we could actually have a good performance. Don’t worry I’m not claiming credit for us playing so well I’m just saying that basically Ole out, Callum in. Obviously. 

The three fingers, 7 eyed Leeds fans who have mums that are also their sister and cousin really thought they would beat us. They said Bielsa would be no match for someone who is “just a PE teacher”. Its pretty funny in it really when you think how long they’ve been waiting to play against their hated rivals. When in reality even though the last 7 years haven’t been the best we still just brushed them a side like the shit you find at the bottom of your shoe. Or in the local pub in Batley.

I also think its fair to say that Scott McTominay is somehow now the best midfielder in the league and if Arsenal had him they’d maybe avoid relegation. 

In all seriousness, like I say I did miss the game because I had this odd superstition about us and in the end it proved me right so if we do lose on boxing day, imagine its because I’m a mess, sat on the sofa watching it covered in Ferrero Rocher wrappers. 

As it has been a while since I wrote anything I thought id bring up a certain Paul Pogba. 

I do like Pogba, I know he genuinely is a world class player but honestly I’ve had enough. Every international break there’s something new with him. Every couple of months,Mr Raiola puts down his Big Mac and decides to open his fat fecking face and talk up a move. 

This time was different though. He said it the night before our biggest game of the season (which we went on to lose) and the same week as a Manchester Derby. Which just so happened to be as exciting as having a scouser sneeze on you. 

I get he’s brilliant on his day and I always gave him the benefit of the doubt but I really I’ve had enough this time. It hasn’t worked and maybe it is just best for all parties if he does just leave. We could still get a relatively decent fee for him and depending where he goes, even get a good player in a swap deal. Maybe even Ronaldo’s 13 year loan deal could finally end? 

Anyway, it does feel good to be back writing and I definitely will be updating a lot more now. I mean its not as if I can go for a substantial meal at the minute is it?

Stay safe everyone in such a shit time for so many, yes even those in Liverpool. Need to say something nice every now and then otherwise their fans might start sending me death  threats..

No seriously, stay safe to you all, look out for each other and hopefully the end is in sight.

Oh yeah and Merry Christmas. Nearly forgot then. 

For once, I’m very happy with United at the minute. I just hope it lasts. 

Cya.

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Same old season, same old excuse

Evra voicing his opinion on the state of the club on his Instagram (@evra)

Im baaaack.

I know you’ve all been dying to hear from me, given the thousands of messages I HAVENT got. Anyway..

I started this blog sometime last year because my specialty in life is moaning. People piss me off right and Man United proper wind me up. I’d moan about Woodward and his stupid round head. I’d moan about glazers and the fact they know more about the KFC herbs and spices than the offside rule. And I’d moan about Phil Jones because well it’s Phil Jones.

So here I am back and hopefully as the new season has now started ill be writing about how fecking amazing we are.

But no, I’m writing about the fact Harry Maguire turns round like he’s got a lump of lard in his shorts. The fact that the best thing about Victor Lindelof right now is the tattoos on his arm. Maybe if the mugger did a couple of stepovers he would have got away from him. At least that’s what Zaha did for christ sake after scoring two.

I joke right and it really frustrates me because as it goes Maguire and Lindelof are two players I genuinely like but their performance simply wasn’t good enough against Palace.

Yes I’ve singled them out but trust me the lot of them were dogpoo. I sat in the pub with a San Miguel and by the end of the game I was drinking JD and coke. Doubles and if I could have ordered triple I would. Jesus.

Personally though, why Greenwood and AWB didn’t start was a little baffling to me. The only thing I can think is they weren’t fully fit but the way the team played I don’t think any of them were. Lockdown hasn’t been the kindest to me and Im a bloke and I can feel my tits bouncing and even I was probably fitter than some of them.

You know what right the team played badly and I get they probably know that but we going to talk about the real route of the problem.

Obviously I am.. told you I moan, its what I do. Here we go (which annoyingly United fans haven’t read enough of over the transfer window ey Fabrizio?)

For fuck sake how many times do I write that the Glazers are dickheads. How many times do I have to write that Ed Woodward actually might be utter shite at his job.

Im genuinely starting to think that if Ed woodward went to buy a meal deal for 3 quid, he’d still try and negotiate and offer 2 quid plus Jesse Lingard.

ONE PLAYER MAN. How? Phil Jones, Pereira, Smalling all still at the club. In fact its even worse than that. Phil and Chris were given new 5 year deals in the last 20 months. How has he been allowed to oversee such shambolic decision making and negotiated such awful transfers in the last 7 years?

One answer: G-L-A-Z-E-R. The family that look like the Jehovahs witnesses that don’t leave you alone on the bus.

One billion taken out of the club. No investment in Old Trafford. 89 million pounds in divdends, all whilst paying themselves a hefty salary themselves. They haven’t invested any money into this club. Not one penny.

One signing. One.

33 points behind Liverpool in the league and we simply had to sign players to at least attempt to close the gap but no. This summer has spoken volumes quite frankly and I don’t want to hear the crony woodward say they care. They don’t.

Surely diligently acting in the best interest for the club sees better league positions, more prize money, attracts better sponsorship, keeps the fans happy so we spend more money and after all keeps us happy which is what football is all about.

Yes, I get were not bury or Macclesfield but were watching a great club being ripped apart and its shit. Proper shit.

You’ve heard my rants before about it and I feel like you’ll hear them again but how much longer can this carry on? What can we actually do to get them out? A fancy hashtag on twitter doesn’t do much so I genuinely don’t know what the answer is.

One thing ss for certain, we’ve all had enough. The fans deserve better. The players deserve better. Sir Matt Busby, Sir Bobby Charlton, Sir Alex, George Best, Marcus Rashford, Ryan Giggs.  They all deserve better. OLE deserves better.

We need a football structure in place and we need players. Two weeks of the window and we act like about as organised a Teenager that hasn’t revised for an exam.

Back the manager, get behind the players and support the team. Just make sure your anger is going to the right place. The Glazers.

I write these as a joke, all in good faith and as a bit of a laugh towards the players but if the guy in the pub gets any angrier at the way the club is im genuinely worried his head might pop and I really don’t fancy his brains in my pint of Carlsberg. In fact, maybe I do, it might make it taste better.

I hope you’re all keeping safe during this tough year.

Look after yourselves.

Love from your favourite most pointless blogger ever.

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COVID 19 BREAK

Stay safe, stay home and look after yourselves.

A quick update to you all!

YES IM BACK. Sort of…

Don’t worry I am still doing this blog, I am sure you’re all frigging devastated I have been away for a while but work and the fact that the whole world is basically a hollywood disaster film at the minute has meant the blog is on pause for the moment.

However, I am hoping to start a YouTube channel and you can see me doing my usual rant over there at some point! As well as this of course…

United picked up their form massively before this pandemic and its great to see we are going in the right direction.

But, perspective is needed at the minute and rightly so, Football has stopped. I do hope the football season can resume at some point but nobody knows at the minute.

It’s the uncertainty that is rubbish but everyone should focus on the positives. As a moaning cunt, i find that hard but hopefully we come out of all this for the better.

I’m really going to try to write more. Mainly because I am so bored and there is only so much Football Manager i can play before I realise i’m looking like that guy from South Park in the World Of Worldcraft episode.

Everyone stay home and stay safe and wherever you are in the world, look after yourselves, yes even you lot in Liverpool.

Thanks for any support you’ve given so far. Even a few of your reading these blogs means I want to write another.

Just a quick update really. I know it has been a while but give me a break will ya. I couldn’t think of anything to write so i just could not be arsed. Its really fucking hard writing a football blog when theres no football to write about.. Know what I mean?

Plus I really don’t wanna watch the Belarus premier league. Only thing I know about Belarus is that Alex Hleb is from there and hes the cunt that started the trend of wearing your socks really low. Knobhead.

Look after yourselves

Love from your favourite most pointless blogger ever.

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New Year, Same old United.

Lack of quality saw a poor Manchester derby performance

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (I know it’s the 9th January but shut up yeah.)

I’M BACK. Sorry for not writing in a while there are so many reasons why I haven’t written anything.

Alright there isn’t. There’s only two. One being it was christmas, so I simply just could not be arsed to write anything and two; I was balls deep in Ferrero Rochers so I couldn’t physically move after the Gavin and Stacey christmas special. Now it’s the new year and I am back writing and ranting and generally being a miserable bastard for you all to enjoy.

I bet you’re all fucking ecstatic about that aren’t you?

Anyway, onto the football..

December was a month where if I am being completely honest, I feared for the worst. I thought the useless tit at the top would have got hungry for Poch and sacked Ole. We all saw the consecutive games against Tottenham and Manchester City and thought ‘oh shit we’re going to get more fucked than a slag on Deansgate locks’.

But you know what? Solskjaer proved he was better than Jose and Pep in EVERY possible way and beat them both. I thought personally that he saved his job that week. Yes I am very aware Woodward said his job is safe regardless, but I trust him about as much as I trust being in a room alone with a Catholic priest.

I was happy Ole proved his doubters wrong and it shut them up on Twitter anyway. lets have it right yeah, and I would like to think we can all agree, but those with LUHG (mentioning no names) in their twitter name, you’re probably a bit odd.

In hindsight, december was a good month but what bothered me was how inconistent we are. How can we go from beating Spurs and City in the space of a few days to drawing 1-1 with a poor Everton side and being absolutely piss poor against Watford. Keep some form and get some wins on the board to challenge for the top 4.

However, to do this you need a squad with genuine first team quality throughout and we don’t have it. The lack of quality is shining through. Don’t worry, I will talk about January later. Pathetic.

Anyway..

We ended the month very well. Manchester United did not ruin our christmas. We could stuff our face with pigs in blankets with a smile on our face instead of crying into them. Or stuff your face with a cabbage if you’re a vegetarian. Weird bastards they are. A brilliant 4-1 win against the Geordies with Mason Greenwood playing a blinder. This was followed by something I thought i’d never see again. An away win at Burnley with a clean sheet. A good end to 2019.

However…

January so far can only be described as a kick in the bollocks. We are 9 days in and haven’t won a game yet and STILL HAVEN’T SIGNED ANYBODY. NOBODY NOT A SINGLE BASTARD PLAYER. What is the point? How is that tit still in charge of transfers? I’ll tell you why! According to the Glazers, he is doing a great job. He’s making them millions whilst we have to watch the likes of Andreas Pereira hit a one man wall from a FK or Phil Jones flap his arms around and injure himself kicking a ball. Sick to death of it.

We have signed 6 players in 3 years. What kind of rebuild is this Mr Woodward? If you were building my house I would seriously question if the ceiling would fall on my fucking head you flap. He is a failure and until him and the Glazers are gone and a Director of Football is hired nothing will change. Get used to it because they aren’t going anywhere.

Pogba still out injured, Maguire injured, McTominay injured. Phil Jones starts for Manchester United in 2020. It’s almost as if not replacing key players in the squad wouldnt’ come back to bite us in the arse.

He’s incompetent. It’s so frustrating. I am genuinely baffled and pissed off we still havent signed someone. Liverpool, who are 317 points clear at the top of the table, had a deal in place to sign a midfielder on the 1st January.

We can’t let them keep getting away with it.

I really hope we have a good reaction against Norwich. I also hope we sign some fucking players. I also hope for some creme eggs but that’s another problem. I am just so sick of being annoyed at the same issues.

Ole has faults. He is obviously not perfect but people really need to get their heads around the fact that no other manager in world football would get more out of a team with a midfield of Matic, Pereira and Fred. Stop lying to yourself.

Direct your anger at the board. They haven’t signed the players we needed. They haven’t replaced the players that have left. They are a joke and taking the piss out of us. Get them out, not Ole.

Right, I am done. I’m going to listen to some country music and have a Munch Bunch yoghurt. Enjoy the game if you can

But just remember, as always, it might not be the best at Manchester United right now, it could be worse. You could be from Liverpool.

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